A squid can’t be this cute


*This is not anime preview but more to an analysis.

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Have you ever thought what would it be if Keroro Gunso was a female, an Earthling and came to invade the surface of the Earth alone? That’s more or less of what the anime Shinryaku! Ika Musume! is all about. Don’t believe me? Look at my analysis below, which is made based on 10 most notable characteristics of both characters and see how they are differ or similar:

Name

Keroro Gunso

Ika Musume

1. Reason to invade

To show supremacy over humanity

To take revenge on human as a respond to the sea pollution

2. Invasion plan

In group (with armed comrades and full military equipment)

Alone (no real weapon, just some mighty, multi-purpose tentacles, and occasionally squid ink too)

3. Gender

Male (adult)

Female (a young girl)

4. Origin

Outer space (alien)

Deep sea (Earthling)

5. Facing resistance?

Yes, by the Hinata family

Yes, by the Aizawa family

6. Invasion gone wrong?

Yes, and ended up becoming a housekeeper to the Hinata family

Yes, thus forced to work in Aizawa’s beach house to repay the damages she caused

7. Understanding in the subject of invasion?

Very low

Very low

8. Fear of…

Natsumi Hinata (the oldest of the Hinata siblings)

Chizuru Aizawa (also the oldest of the Aizawa siblings)

9. Weak against…

Gunpla

Shrimps

10. Ending sentences with final particles?

Yes, with “de arimasu”

Yes, with “de geso”

At this point most people would think Ika Musume is a parody to Keroro Gunso but that’s all there is to it. I don’t mind with parodies, in fact I think all anime titles should get their own parody (or should I say all anime series must be prepared to be parodied). Anyways Ika Musume is funny and I love to snapshot her cute moments. Recommended for a good laugh for the entire family.

There’s no way people could think I am “no fun”


Whenever people told me “you are no fun” or “why so serious?” or “you’re boring”, I’d interpret it as:

  • “You are too serious over things that is supposed to be fun”
  • “You spoiled/ruined the fun”
  • “You don’t know how to have fun”
  • “I don’t know how to have fun”
  • “You should have fun according to my way”

Regardless which one of the above is the perfect match to what that person is intending to tell me, I must say it’s just so wrong to tell people his/her way of having fun is not right, because there’s no right way of having fun to begin with. Different people have different ways of having fun. After all everybody likes to have fun, I mean who doesn’t? Nobody should force his/her own definition of having fun into other people because nobody has the authority to define what’s fun and what’s not.

Remember there are many ways to enjoy things, with unlimited possibilities. What important is it won’t cause any harm/damage physically or ‘virtually’ in the process. That being said if you are not happy with the may I am having fun then it is you who really need to learn how to have fun yourself.

EDIT: recently some moe fans taught me a…


EDIT: recently some moe fans taught me a few other bad logic: critics are bitter people, criticizing is forbidden, criticism is a sin. Oh well I wonder who is the bitter people now.

Actually moe fans who have problems with criticism are the bitter people here. While critics usually prefer more serious anime over moe/slice-of-life anime they never forbid moe fans from liking serious anime too, let alone forbidding them from keep liking moe anime itself. However on the other hand the bitter moe fans keep whining about critics who take a liking on some moe titles, some even make a counter-criticism against the interest in serious anime. Clearly the bitter people would be the one who can’t accept the opposite views.

NOTE: Criticism isn’t meant to spoil the fun. If you think criticism would spoil your fun then don’t read any criticism, or if you think criticism is spoiling the fun, or if you tend to take offense when people said the things you have fun with do have flaws, then it would only mean that you are indeed the bitter people.

My Country? It’s Like This


This prompt is answered in conjunction with the Malaysia Day on September 16. I'm an average Malaysian who was born in Malaysia, also live in Malaysia until now.

So you know nothing about Malaysia? Here' let me tell you a thing or two about it. Assuming you know where is Thailand, Singapore, Indonesia and Philippines, I can tell you Malaysia, on the map is located in the middle of those countries, in the middle of South East Asia. Yes, those countries are close neighbors to Malaysia; all of them have shared land or water borders with Malaysia. And for the record, Singapore was in fact part of Malaysia since it's independence from the British Empire until year 1969. Although the time Singapore spent as part of Malaysia was brief, it was fun and unforgettable.

Geographically, Malaysia is divided into two; West Malaysia which is comprised of 12 states in Malaysia Peninsula, and East Malaysia which is comprised of the states of Sabah and Sarawak (located to the north of the island of Borneo). The two land masses is divided by the South China Sea. Politically Malaysia is a federation of 14 states (Federal Territory is deemed as 1 free state in the federation). Our country practiced a form of democratic government known as constitutional monarchy, similar to the United Kingdom and Japan where we have our own king known as Yang Di-Pertuan Agong (literally means "Supreme Ruler") and a Prime Minister as the head of states. Our kings are elected, similar to the practice used in electing the Pope, although as opposed to the Pope, our kings are elected among hereditary sultans (the ruling royal families) from nine Malay states, all located in the Peninsula. For states without the sultans, they have Governors (locally known as "Yang Di-Pertua Negeri") appointed by the Council of Rulers. And unlike the Governors in the US, Governors in states in Malaysia have very little role in political system (just like the rest of the sultans) as the administration of individual states are directly under the jurisdiction of Chief Ministers.

Whenever I talk about my country I can't avoid to talk about its history as well. I think it's quite understandable why there are many people like yourself never heard about Malaysia before because our country has always been low profile for centuries. Actually it's not really our fault. We once had our own Golden Age too, during the reign of the Sultanate of Malacca. During that time The Malacca Empire was so prosperous; it covered almost half of South East Asia region. It was during this time Malaysia first become an Islamic nation and the religion has spread throughout this region since that time. We had hundred of years of relationship with the Chinese Empire and we were once the wealthiest trading nation in the world. It ended with the invasion by foreign powers from Europe such as the Portuguese and Netherlands. Later in the 18th and 19th century we were part of the British Empire and for a brief moment we were occupied by the Japanese armed forces during the World War II. Today Malacca is part of Malaysia as a free state, and because of the Portuguese occupation, Malacca has lost its hereditary line thus today Malacca has no sultan but instead it has the Governor.

Malaysia has a recorded history as far back as at least 2 thousand years. Although the locally available written historical sources may not dated as far as that time, there are foreign historical sources that have references to Malaysia that support this fact, mainly from China and India. Historically Malaysia also known by various names such as "Tanah Melayu" (literally "Land of the Malays"), The Spice Islands and a few more. To the ancient Chinese it was known as 'Nanyang' and to the westerns world it was known as The Golden Chersones as described by Ptolemy, and right before Malaysia was born, it was known internationally as The Malayan Federation or just Malaya. One of the main reason that strengthen the argument that Malaysia has long enough history is the reference given to Mount Ledang (located in Malacca) where in the western world it was once known as Mount Ophir. The world Ophir itself is believed to have been originated from the Hebrew language. Malaysia also was once a home for one ancient kingdom known as Langkasuka although its existence is still highly disputed among historians as some believe it has been existed before 10th century AD and through some unverified records, the king of Langkasuka once received a visit by the Roman envoys.

Throughout the history Malaysia always has a turbulent past due to the invasion of various foreign powers as mentioned earlier. Before the establishment of The Malacca Empire, this region has always in constant war between small kingdoms. Because of this local people has developed a way of life where they defended themselves with a unique martial art known as silat. Silat is unique to the Malay people (this includes the Indonesian) just like how kungfu/wushu is unique to the Chinese. Silat used to be taught only to the Malay people but since there are high demand from the non-Malays, they are now being taught to to them too. Right before the Portuguese invasion, there were only 2 most dominant empires in this region; the Malacca Empire and the Siam Empire. Perhaps if it's not because of the foreign invasion this region might have been unified by one of these two local powers because people in this region share many similarities in culture and language.

Well, it's true that Malaysia was once "The Land of The Malays" but under the British Empire, many immigrants, mostly from China and India has settled down and as a result Malaysia today has become one of the most diverse nation in the world. I'm not denying that there are racist people among us but most Malaysian today live in harmony and doesn't really care about the differences between ethnicity. Now we have the same goal; to make Malaysia a fully developed country by the year 2020. It's not an easy task to do and it can only be achieved by cooperation by all people regardless of their background.

Here I shall conclude that Malaysia may be new as a country but as a nation it has been existing for nearly 2000 years.

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The No-Fail Way to Make Me Roll My Eyes (Or to Make My Eyes Roll)


10+5 things that are guaranteed to make my eyes roll without fail:

eyes roll back around

1. American jokes; because they would make me think "what's funny about it?" most of the time.

2. Feminist who are bitching about the "discrimination against women" where such discrimination does not really exist.

3. People who go against death penalty but hypocritically they are OK with something torturing like lifetime imprisonment.

4. Cryptic command line interface on Linux OS, thinking why the programmers are still so reluctant to make a complete shift/migration of modern computing to GUI.

5. Girls who support gay marriage but hypocritically enraged after they found out that their boyfriends are gays/bi and ended up dumping them because of their non-straight sexual orientation.

6. Groups of people who think they are best friends and getting along well although what they are doing are just butt-kissing each other.

7. Chubby girls who cosplaying slim female anime characters.

8. People who spend more on pointless modification on the outer appearance of a normal car instead of using the money to make the car faster.

9. People scooped my eyes out of their sockets and make them rolling on the floor.

10. People made eyerolls out of my eyes, just like meatrolls being made out of meat.

Bonus (extra things that will make my eyes roll):

- eye-coaster made from my eyes, an equivalent to the roller-coaster

- roller-eye, an equivalent to roller-blade

- eye 'n' roll – a new music genre, an equivalent to rock 'n' roll

- eyeroller (not eyerolls) – an equivalent to steamroller

- "Eyes! Roll! Action!" – thing a director said before filming

(8/15 people rolled their eyes because they couldn't get what I'm talking about)

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Me, as a Teen (part II)


This is the 'memoir' about how I looked like in my teenage. However it will only cover my life between my 13th to 19th years of life. I'd have included 11th and 12th but since there is not 'teen' in them (we pronounce them as 'eleventh' and 'twelfth' respectively) and the 'teen' only started from 'thirteen', so I have them omitted. Well, the 'teen' starts with 13 so I guess that's one of the reasons why 13 is always a special (luck or curse) everywhere.

Delightful group of teens – Two Girls shown here – Beach Scenes at Morro Bay, CA

(Take note: the picture above is just a picture. I AM a man.)

Between my 13th – 15th, I looked like a pure, innocent kid. I attract people everywhere and I could easily get their money too by acting cutely. You can pretty much say that I was like Bustin Jieber and I believe if I am 13 right now I am sure people would be annoyed of me as much as how they are annoyed of Bustin Jieber. In school I used that as a weapon, and as the result, I got many “big sisters”. The advantages? I can have free meals and sex.

During my 15th – 17th, I was like a person that will kill you if I am not happy with you being in my sight. During this time I have killed more people than the average of one POW did in World War II. Yes, killing people was my hobby on that time, and it was fun to see blood splashing, limbs flying and headless bodies rolling. And I don't waste those bodies since I'm quite an environmentalist. So what I did with those dead bodies? I consume them of course.

And finally in my 17th – 19th, which is the final part of my teenage life episode. During this time I have become a fully grown women-magnet. I was so hot that I got many offers for underwear modeling, nude modeling at art colleges as well as to perform in pornos. Not to mention many women offer their bodies to me for one night stand. And I did all that, I mean who in the right mind would reject free money and sex? After all teenage life is supposed to be enjoyed to it's fullest, right?

(1/5 teenagers don't realize that by enjoying their teenage life to it's fullest, they have shortened their lifespan by half)

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Overheard at My Own Funeral


10 things I think people might say during my funeral when they don’t even know I was not dead; I was just disguising myself as a fly.

J.G.Magee’s Grave, Scopwick Cemetery, Lincolnshire

1. I don’t think it’s him. Halfey is still alive and hiding somewhere.

2. That’s just an empty coffin. I know.

3. Don’t you think this is just government’s conspiracy? They must have kept Halfey with them and declared his death to fool us.

4. I know he’s not dead yet and is doing his mission elsewhere.

5. Nah! He must be doing undercover and spying job right now. There’s nobody in the grave.

6. Hey! D’you know that Halfey is actually among one of us here? He must have made himself look like a young woman. Try finding for him now!

7. Wait! He has ascended to the heaven. Believe me!

8. What the hell you’re talking about?! Halfey is immortal! He’s a vampire!

9. Rev, please cancel this funeral now! I know this is just a joke but this is too much!

10. Lets form a new religion to worship Halfey.

(1/9 people believe I am immortal)

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The Beginning of My Memoir


This is the first chapter of my memoir. Read on and don't complain if you feel offended by it. If you have anything to say about it, just keep them to yourself. Even if you put up your comments, chances are I'll delete them right away even before reading them, so don't waste your time and I wouldn't want to waste my time reading your comments either. You've been warned.

Nurse & patient “Sea Breeze Jr.” (LOC)

I was born on Jan 19th, 1983. As an evil baby the first thing I noticed on that time was one young and cute trainee nurse. Too bad since she's a trainee she's not always in charge to take care of me before me and my mow was discharged. However there's one time when both of us together alone and I asked her name, and she revealed to me her nametag on her chest. It reads "Maria". Since it was on her chest my sight quickly turned to something else, her boobs. It's just natural because that's what all babies, do, to look for boobs, regardless they belong to their mother or not.

I didn't waste the chance and start to caress her breasts gently using my small hands. I can see she was trying so hard to keep her voice down when she was moaning. Oh I must be born talented to do stuff like this and I'm sure she must feel good when I kneaded and massaged her breasts. Then I see an opening! Yes, I unbuttoned her nurse uniform, unhook her bra and suck on her nipples straight away. She must have thought her nurse uniform has turned me on. However while we're 'busy' at it another nurse came in. At first she was shocked but soon after that she smiled and said "Sorry, I didn't know you two are busy. Sorry again." Then she closed the door and left. Dammit, I should have asked her to lock the door but Maria seemed don't want to let my mouth go off her breast.

Then another nurse came in but she didn't give a damn as if she can't see us or something. And before she left, came in yet another nurse. She didn't do anything and she waited until the other nurse go. Then there are only three of us. While I was still sucking Maria's breast, I can see that nurse locked the door and started stripping herself. "Maggie…?" said Maria. So I know that nurse's name was Maggie. And you know what? We ended up in a situation that you could almost say a "threesome" though nothing really happen since I was only changing turns sucking those nurses' breasts. In any ways, it was fun.

(15/22 people are too stupid to the point that they believe this so-called 'memoir' is true)

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Things you might need to know about halfey


  1. Halfey is not a complete genius. Some parts are missing. But that doesn’t make him an idiot.
  2. Halfey only borrows money from pessimists – they don’t expect it back
  3. Halfey is Malaysian. It’s like being American, only without saying the f word all the time.
  4. Halfey is the lesser of 2 evils
  5. Halfey will try to be nicer if you try to be smarter
  6. Halfey is the one that put a hole in the ozone layer. Sorry but it can’t be helped unless he stop using cars and bikes.
  7. Halfey is the master of low expectations
  8. Halfey prefer being over the hill than being under it
  9. Halfey can see Soviet Russia from his house.
  10. Halfey is all that